Teens: Self Harming
About Self Harm
Self-injury, also known as self-harm, self-mutilation, or self-abuse occurs when someone intentionally and repeatedly harms herself/himself in a way that is impulsive and usually not intended to be lethal. College students often self-harm in a way to cope and deal with intense emotions.
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Some common methods of self harming include:
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Skin cutting
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Head banging or hitting
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Burning
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Excessive scratching
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Punching self or objects
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Drinking something harmful
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Self harming is most common among teenagers and young adults. It's estimated that over 15% of teens report some form of self-injury. Studies show that between 17% and 35% of college students report self-injury.
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While teenagers with non-suicidal self injury do not intend to commit suicide, they may cause more harm than intended, which could result in medical complications or even death.
Why do teens self-harm?
Teens self-injure for various reasons. Some of the most common reasons include:
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Obtain relief from a negative feeling or mental state
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Resolve an interpersonal difficulty, like a disagreement with a friend or loved one
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Induce a positive feeling state
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Recently had a breakup or event that caused severe depression
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Severe depression and/or loneliness
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Feeling of hopelessness or helplessness
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Many teens and adults believe that teenagers self harm out of attention, but this is not typically the case. Most teenagers who self-injure try to hide their cuts or scars, because they don't want their peers and family to see it.
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Self harm can be a very delicate subject for families, because a lot of parents don't understand why teens self harm. Often times, the teen's friends will laugh or make fun of them because they think that it's done out of attention. Self-injury is very serious and should never be taken lightly, no matter how bad the injuries are.
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If you think one of your friends may be harming themselves, tell a trusted adult like a parent, school counselor, or a nurse. Don't ignore it and assume that someone else will help them.
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Warning Signs
Warning signs that a teenager may be injuring themselves include:
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Unexplained frequent injuries including cuts and burns,
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Low self-esteem,
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Feeling helpless or hopeless for the future
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Relationship problems or avoidance of relationships
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Consistently hiding skin with extra clothing, especially during the summer
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Problems eating and/or sleeping
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Sudden decline in taking care of their appearance
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Mood changes or mood swings
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Loss of interest in favorite hobbies or sports
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Changes in socializing patterns and/or friend groups
Remember, just because your teen wears hoodies all summer long doesn't mean that they harm themselves. These warning signs are just meant to be a warning that something might be going on with them.
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If you believe that your friend is self harming, don't laugh at them or think that it's weird. That will embarrass your friend and it will make them feel even worse. Sit down with them and explain that you are worried for their safety and that you'd like to help them find a safer way to cope with their stress.
For Parents
Often times when parents find out that their teenager is self harming, they react by yelling or grounding the teenager. Parents a lot of times don't really understand self harm or why their teen would do it, so it's not unusual for parents to get upset and get mad at the child. This, however is never the right way to handle the situation. Yelling at your teenager will only make them feel more lonely and they will feel like they can't trust you to tell you anything personal. Instead, sit down with your teen and talk about how they're feeling. Discuss how they can deal with stress and that there are much safer ways to cope with stress or mental illness. Remember, teenagers typically don't self-harm for attention. In fact, most teens don't even want anyone finding out about it, so they often wear pants and long shirts so the cuts will be hidden from their friends and family.
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It's okay if you're worried for your child and don't know how to react. It can be very scary to learn that your teen is hurting themselves. If you're scared of saying the wrong thing, contact our Helping and Resource Center and we can talk you through helping your child so that you can help them find safer coping methods.
Self Harm and Suicide
Often times, people assume that if a teenager is self harming, then they are suicidal, but this is not always true. Teens who self-injure to get rid of bad or lonely feelings are not necessarily always suicidal.
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Self-injury is almost the opposite. Instead of wanting to end their lives, teens who self-injure are usually desperate to find a way to get through the day without feeling horrible.
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Though self harm and suicide are different, self-injury should not be brushed aside as a small problem, because it still is very serious.
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Often times, teens don't know how far to go, so they end up harming themselves a lot worse than they originally intended. That's why it's important for the teen to reach out for help. Just because self harming itself is not typically a means for suicide, sometimes it can lead to that, even accidentally. That's another reason why it's extremely important for the teen to reach out for help.
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It's important for the self-injurer to speak
to a trusted adult or guidance counselor.
Resources
National Youth Internet Safety and Cyberbullying Task Force
Helpline and Resource Center
www.nationalyouthiscbtaskforce.org
Also on Facebook!
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
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Crisis Text Line
Text "onelife" to 741-741
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If you are struggling, you are encouraged to reach out to trained professionals who can help you with self-harming. It's important to create a safety plan so that you can continue to stay clean from harming yourself.
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Self-Harming Myths
Myth: Teens who cut their skin are trying to get attention
Fact: The truth is that teens who self-harm generally harm themselves in secret without telling their friends and family. They aren’t trying to draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very hard for teens to come forward and ask for help from adults.
Myth: Teens who self-injure want to die.
Fact: Teens who self-injure usually do not want to die. When they self-harm, they are typically not trying to end their life, but they are trying to cope with their problems and pain. In fact, to them, self-injury may be a way of helping themselves continue living. However, in the long-term, people who self-injure have a much higher risk of suicide, which is why it’s so important to seek help.
Myth: If the wounds aren’t bad, it’s not that serious.
Fact: The severity of the wounds has very little to do with how much he or she may be suffering. Don’t assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, there’s nothing to worry about. Any type of self injury needs immediate help from professionals